Stefanie Haertel

Lost in a track

Everytime the same old game
Trying to get rid of it.
But Im caught in a mood
Which avoids it.

Melancholic music plays,
Pushed the repeat-button.
Again n again
the same old song.
Cant get rid of my mood.

It pulls me down
It turns me around
It spits me out
And finally leaves me alone,
Broken and lost.

Since I saw your face
I was your willing slave.
Since I knew we cant be one
My tortured soul brakes.

And every single note
Stabs the rest inside of me
The melody seduces to drown me
In tears.
And rebounds me in self-destruction
It gets me dead inside
And living a secluded life.

Our track flahes back the things weve been through,
The time we spend together.
I see it all clear.
Its toxic,
But Im addicted
And longing for it.

You told me we re meant for each other
And thats destiny that were one.
But all I see is a daydreamer
Who was fooled by you
And who is wrapped in her own world.

Im fragile
You need to handle me with care.
Since you went
I got paranoid,
too afraid to smile.

Need no stories you just made up
I need to feel you.

If were meant to be one
Why am I sitting here and hurting myself
Looking at my scars and cutting new ones,
Counting the lost days,
Listening to the track
Which kills my soul?

Living in a tortured soul
Doesnt make life easy.
Ive been through a lot
Still I cant stand having nothing to hold on to.
I need you.
Got rejected so a lot of times
And it pains my faith
Need you badly.

I see me starting the same game again.
Same script, same characters
Thinking about making this end.
Still I dont want to leave too soon.

Im lost in a track
Dont know what to do.
Feeling helpless and unsave
And Im waiting here for you and for my destiny to fulfil.

It gets late,
I spend my whole day with crying
And Im throwing my life away.
I regret the lost day.
Punish myself.
Regret the punishing.
Will this circle end
Before I leave?

I make believe
That you are here.
Its not hard for me
Im a dreamer
And youre so close
When I go through hell.

Im not quite religious,
But I want to believe
That I saw some signs
Which tell me
Everythings gonna be okay.
So that I stay alive one more day
And that I somewhen can free myself.

I try to fall asleep
Making myself believe
That Im alive
That Im loved
That everythings gonna be okay.

Im gonna be free.

 

All rights belong to its author. It was published on e-Stories.org by demand of Stefanie Haertel.
Published on e-Stories.org on 07/16/2005.

 

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Was die Liebe vermag: deutsche und englische Gedichte von Stefanie Haertel



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